Friday, 22 July 2016

The Summer Holidays have arrived and I am now on countdown to my last baby leaving for big school in September. Where were my Mummy transition days, I am not ready for this!

That's it, schools out and the summer holidays are under way. I've already been asked if we can go bowling, swimming, cinema, Legoland and more and we are only on day one of them all being home together!

The sun is finally shining and we bought a swimming pool to keep them busy when we are at home, not every day can be a full on day out unfortunately. Although I am always one for a discount code or buy one get one free tickets on days out it's still expensive for us all to go so days out have to be limited unless they are cheap or free. We have a local lido which looks fun and we could easily spend a day there, a walk into the local woods to feed the ducks and take a picnic is another activity to do and I have just booked tickets for the £1.99 movie mornings at our local cinema which are running every day over the holidays.

The last few weeks of school were a mix of disco's, sports days, summer fayres and visiting new classes for September. With 4 children in 4 different schools there were a lot of dates to keep in kind for various end of term activities. For my youngest this meant visiting 'big school' in readiness for Reception Class in the new term.

Is he ready? Yes. Am I ready? No. He's my last baby and he is all grown up. He is still only 3 and not due to have his 4th birthday for another few weeks so it all seems very strange visiting Infant School with a 3 year old and watching him quite happily walk in and feel at home.

What I want to know is where were my transition days? Who will help me when all of my babies go into school in September? Who has made sure that I will be ok on that first day back at school?!

I thought all would be fine, my babies are growing up and I will have more time to get things done during the day. However events of recent weeks have proved I am not ready even if Thing 5 is. I have never got to this stage of the youngest child's life without having another baby to look after and this time around I thought I was fine with that.

I thought I was ok. I thought I was enjoying watching my babies grow and start the next chapter of their lives but where does that leave me? I am not ready for this next chapter of my life, I am not ready to be on my own during the day although I will have plenty to keep me busy other than looking after children all day.

Thing 5 will of course be fine, he's been doing the school run to the local Infant School with me since he was born and has grown up seeing all of the teachers every school day whilst taking his siblings to school. On his first visit day to Infant School he didn't even want me to stay, I felt quite redundant!

In recent months I would look forward to Thing 5 starting school, looking forward to them all growing up albeit a bit too fast, however as time passes it has made me feel extremely sad at how fast this phase has come around and that I know have to deal with it sooner than I want to now.

Although the children are grateful to have their Summer holidays and some freedom from school for 6 weeks I am already thinking ahead to the prep of back to school. Buying school uniforms, new school shoes, name labels for everything and four children in full time school at three different stages of their school journeys. I am not ready to see Thing 5 in a school uniform, although he is big for his age he will look tiny in a school uniform and against everyone else in the school.

I am not looking forward to September, I always think the summer holidays will go slowly and then they fly by in the blink of an eye and this year I will be left on my own when September comes. Saying goodbye to this stage of mine and my babies life is going to be a lot harder than I thought. 

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