Friday, 15 November 2013

What have you done all day said the husband to the stay at home mum. Here is my response!

I hear it a lot. 'What do you do all day'? As if having 5 children isn't enough, 2 of which are still at home during the day, I assume I'm a lady of leisure.

I won't harp on about the logistics of what gets done in the house and who does it (me) but I felt that a public response to my husbands question was needed.

It was evening, the children had just finished their tea and it was nearing bath time for the younger ones. Having only been in about 20 minutes from walking to pick up the 4 year old from nursery I was making good time on the evening schedule. Then OH came home. I'm probably being highly optimistic that one day he may walk in the door and ask how my day has been and acknowledge what has been achieved, but alas I still await that day!

First on his agenda is his stomach. 'Whats for dinner?' he exclaims. I'm not sure what's for dinner, my plans don't always factor in his fantasy of having his tea on the table as soon as he walks in the door. I had just finished feeding the children and was moving on to bath time and my schedule would rather we ate once the children were settled.  So grump number one developed.

Then came the burning question 'What did you do today?'. My reply was 'Nothing'. Now, contrary to what the word nothing actually means I had actually done something but when it's been a day where there is nothing of importance to report then it is easier to say this. My OH's response was 'Yeah I can see that'.

Looking back now my response should have been this;

Darling husband. My apologies for not having your dinner on the table when you got in from a hard days work and I'm sorry your pipe and slippers were not waiting by your favourite chair. I managed 2 trips to the toilet today, one with an audience in tow.  We survived lunch with only minimal mess control from a self feeding toddler and my last remaining brain cell just about survived the incessant reruns of the already seen Peppa Pig episodes. I'm out of my PJ's and the children are fed, dressed, changed, fed, redressed and entertained. Nobody got hurt, the house is still standing and I managed to drag myself out of the house to do the afternoon school run before coming back home to do previously mentioned children's dinner and bath time.  Today there were no school meetings, doctors appointments, food shopping to do, Xmas preparations to sort, sick children or I wouldn't have known what to do, phew.  There was a moment of panic when we ran out of blueberries but I just about coped with the mini meltdown from the toddler.

It was tough going. I know my usual day of laying in bed in my PJ's watching Jeremy Kyle followed by This Morning and Loose Women whilst the children fend for themselves was indeed my original plan of course. I am soon to teach the 1 year old to make tea so I don't need to move from the bed, I'm struggling to cope with the fact that I might miss a Jeremy Kyle DNA test result!

I'm also going to submit an application for Channel 4's Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. We need their help as I don't do anything and the cleaning fairy forgets to turn up. I'm unsure how the children get fed, washed and entertained or how any of the housework gets done. I'm only assuming that we are meant to believe in miracles. I'm still unsure how you manage to find clean clothes all of the time. In the words of the singer Shaggy 'It wasn't me'.

So now my public apology has been written. My whirlwind week of meeting friends for coffee, spa days, getting my nails done, being a 'lady who lunches', spending hours in the shops frivolously buying copious amounts of new clothes and the new winter boots I need has frazzled my brain, as in so frazzled to think that my week would ever be as heady and carefree as that!

One final note. When your wife mentions the clothes that you don't put away and your reply is that you have nowhere to put them please don't expect sympathy from someone who wishes she had enough clothes to warrant a storage problem. New clothes and less of the slummy Mummy look would be heaven.

I hope my public apology is sufficient and my 'easy' life as a stay at home Mum continues.


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