Monday, 20 January 2020

Nights out with friends & family. Do you have FOMO or JOMO?

Parenting changes your life. It doesn’t mean that everything has to change but sometimes you can feel like you are missing out...... or you just need to get out!
Having children doesn’t mean you have to stay at home until they are 18. You can meet other parents for coffee and play dates and babysitters can be a godsend when it comes to a night out. Some of us really look forward to a night out and a night off from looking after the children. 

However do you want to go out or would you rather stay at home? 

Dadof5 definitely has FOMO (fear of missing out). We were the first people among his friends to have children so we were either battling to find babysitters so we could go out or taking the children with us if it were allowable. Even now that more of his friends have children he still asks them what they are doing for New Year’s Eve or their birthday. Or he says ‘Oh I haven’t heard from X person in a while’ when he hasn’t made the effort to contact them and meet up either. Nobody is doing anything massively amazing but he still feels like he might be missing out on something that his friends are all doing.... he’s not! As I stated in a previous blog post I’m going to try and spend more time with Dadof5 this year, the same could be said for spending more time with friends but things are different now. It’s more of a catch up over coffee or a meal out. No more partying and clubbing for us! 

I’m more of a JOMO person. To be honest I only heard about JOMO (joy of missing out) recently. Although not so much the joy part of it, I am not overly joyous that I have missed out on something, sometimes I just don't want to go. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s an afternoon tea or lunch out I am there for sure but nights out, some of the time, I’m just not up for it. I’m definitely more of an ‘in my pyjamas by 6.30’ kind of gal these days. If it’s someone’s birthday meal or a special occasion then it’s a definite yes. Even now that we have the older ones who we can leave to babysit we need to make sure they are all prepared for us to leave, the younger ones are in their beds and they all know where they stand behaviour wise, you know what I mean! I don’t want to come home at midnight and everyone’s still awake, that’s the part of the evening I don’t like. 

Mention afternoon tea and I am there. As you can see I love an afternoon tea! 

Having children can change your social life. If you have a good network of babysitters then you can still go out lots. Although the cost of arranging babysitters does then bump up the price of a night out. As I said, now the children are older it is easier in that aspect but we still don’t go out a lot. Although I have challenged myself to change that in 2020. 

Some of us don’t want to leave the children to go out and yet others really do want to get out and get away from the house (and the children) for an evening and meet up with others. It can do us good to get out and have some time for ourselves. 

So do you have FOMO or JOMO? Would you rather stay at home in the evenings. Or do you sometimes wish you could go out and see your friends more. 

Saying that, we’ve not had a good meal out with friends for a while. I’m off to book it, if I can drag myself away from my cosy pyjamas! 

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