Monday, 6 January 2020

Why does having 5 children mean that people assume they don't have as many opportunities or 'privileges' as others

Whilst at work the other day I struck up a conversation with a customer about children. People are always slightly taken aback when I say I have five children and they are soon asking their ages and 'How do you cope' and 'You don't look old enough'. Clearly that last statement is a lie and they are just being polite because at the moment I feel and look about 90!! 

Anyway, the other day I was slightly taken aback by a comment that was said to me. 'Oh but yours won't have as much privilege being one of five will they'. I am sure the person in question meant opportunity rather than privilege but it really played on my mind for the rest of the day. 

Cinema time

Why is there the assumption that being from a larger family means you won't always have what others do. The person in question was assuming that we maybe don't have as much money as others or even if we did it would then be split between five children rather than maybe one or two. Or maybe that they didn't get enough of our time as there are five of them so how could we possibly give each child the time that they need from us.

People are all too quick to judge when it come to larger families. Some have the assumption that we must be on benefits, living in a council house and 'I bet the government pay for your children'. Well no it's all wrong and it's wrong to always assume things of others. 

Our children are happy, a handful! and get as much opportunity to do things as others and I would never say they miss out on anything being from a larger family. Yes it all adds up when they have school trips, new clothes and shoes, horse riding lessons, school meals, eating out, cinema trips etc..... Eating out or going to the cinema as a family of seven certainly costs more than if we were a family of four but that doesn't mean we don't do it. 

 Now I am sure if we had even more money we could give them so many more opportunities than they already have but, that said, the same statement applies to most people. We are happy and we give our children everything that we can and every opportunity to do things that they want to do. 

Thing 3 enjoying her horse riding

As for giving them our time I feel that they get plenty of our time too. I was lucky enough up until recently to be a stay at home parent until they all started school. I was here during the days to look after them, take them to school, toddler groups, out with friends etc... We help them with their homework, read with them at night time and take them out at the weekends. That said I am sure that a lot of parents who both work full time during the week still have time to do all of those things too and whether you have one or five children you can give them as much time and attention as they need. 

Thing 5 thinks eating out is the best! 

So please don't assume anything about anyone. Passing judgement about others is wrong. 

Whether you have one, five, ten or twenty children. Live in a two, four or ten bedroom house and have a moderate or luxurious income. We are all doing the same job and raising our children the best we can and aim to give them every opportunity they can have. 

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