So here we go, one of the questions that gets asked a lot, along with 'Do you have a TV'?!
Are they all yours the old lady just asked
No I stole him off that woman as she walked past
Are they all yours said the man at the till
No, my Aunt left me a couple in her will
Are they all yours asks a waitress in the cafe
No, they just seem to follow me they won't go away
Are they all yours they say pointing at me
No but I'm selling them do you want one, only 50p
Are they all yours the old man did shriek
No, one was delivered by courier only last week
Are they all yours, you must be brave
No, I just bought them to be my slaves
Are they all yours, is it true
No, they belong to the old lady who lives in a shoe
Are they all yours, are you insane,
Yes that's me, how did you know my name?!
I would like to point out that I've never said these responses to anyone although I would love to see their face if I did. Other questions include:
Where do you keep them all?. I was actually quite taken aback by this one. I mean come on, common sense would tell you that as long as they have a roof over their heads it doesn't matter how many children I have. 2, 3, 4 or more in one bedroom wouldn't be an issue. Or did they expect me to say in a zoo, or a cage?!
How do you afford them all? Last time I looked it up I seem to remember that I didn't pay the midwife for any of my babies before leaving the hospital. Unless things have changed since Thing 5 was born, babies are still free. Apart from the usual baby/child paraphernalia which comes at a price but a price that you set, at a budget you can afford. Not what others tell you that you should or shouldn't be spending or buying.
Do you have a TV? Yes we do. We have a few actually. Some evenings I will be watching Corrie whilst the OH is somewhere else watching Sport or other such boring stuff. Our Sky signal may have gone down, about 5 times perhaps?! ;-)
How do you feed them all? I'm assuming people mean that my food shop must be horrendous rather than them wanting to know if they eat from a trough or at a table like 'normal' sized families. I mean it's not like you can't get tables bigger than a four seater! Food shopping isn't horrendous, well the cost of it isn't, shopping with all of the kids is though!. Thank heaven for the online shopping angels and I shop with offers and discount codes which makes it easier on the pennies. They just don't get caviar and lobster every day, only every other day.
Plus many more questions that make us feel like we shouldn't have 5 children. I don't think we are a larger family although according to statistics, online booking services when it comes to booking any family day out (COME ON PEOPLE, LARGER FAMILY TICKETS PLEASE!), the local restaurant when you book a table for 7 plus the grandparents and they ask if it's a party, plus all the above mentioned members of the public who think it's OK to question you then Yes we are classed as a larger family.
Oh and I don't live in a shoe.